Q – I have a client who told me she has bi-polar and anxiety disorder. She is on trileptal, welbutrin, and Klonopin and says they aren’t really helping her. I have never worked with client with bi-polar disorder. Is there any advice you can give me on how to help her?
A – Most people who express as “bi-polar” are battling the results of childhood conditioning which deeply suppressed their true nature.
What happens here is that, as the individual gets away from the source of their conditioning (parents, teachers, preachers, etc) their nature tries to express. The “manic” side of bi-polarism occurs when the individual allows their natural self to emerge. We all find joy and a sense of elation when we are functioning authentically and in harmony with our nature.
However, in someone who has been conditioned away from their true nature, it was not allowed to express and mature when they were children so when it emerges, it shows up as immature and undeveloped which can feel scary because the emotions seem out of control.
As soon as the individual becomes aware of this, the conditioning leaps back into action and shuts the natural style down with a “What do you think you’re doing?” kind of criticism. The critical message reins the individual back in which prompts them to abandon their natural style and get back into the conditioned box they have spent most of their life in.
The problem is, they have tasted the joy of their natural style so the conditioned box is even less appealing and feels even more uncomfortable than it did before they experienced that delicious freedom. Then the increased awareness of the discomfort of the box deepens the depression.
This back and forth cycle of Mania (uncontrolled joy) and depression (uncontrolled sadness) is simply the individual’s nature trying to help them get out of the box and let go of the conditioning that is not allowing them to get too far from it. Most people can’t do this on their own because they don’t know who they are authentically and they don’t know what to expect so they can be prepared. The vast majority of people don’t really need a therapist to do this. Most actually do far better with a CORE Coach.
When people become aware of their true self and the conditioned message that has kept them in the box, they quickly develop in the direction of their authentic self and, when that occurs, the bi-polar effect disappears, not just temporarily, but permanently. I’ve seen it happen many times.
The problem is that the space between the very controlled person who has occupied that box for so long and the free, joyful person living authentically can be messy. There is a growing up process that must occur, and since they didn’t get to do grow their natural style up as a child, they will have to do it as an adult. When the individual understands what this growing up process looks like, the individual can be kind to themselves as they evolve, knowing that on the other side of that growth curve (which tends to occur very rapidly) is the joy and contentment and sense of well-being they seek. And when the family understands, they can be more understanding and supportive through the growth process.
Many people need help growing up their natural style when they didn’t get to do that as a child. That’s where a good coach comes in. But, before you, as her coach, can help her, she needs to get past the mask and discover her true self. That’s where CORE MAP shines. It gets right to the core of who the individual is and uncovers all those old programs that have held them back. Once people see their truth, they are able to get out of the old box rather quickly because nature itself help to move their development along. And, by the way, everyone loves their authentic self. I have never seen a single exception.
To eliminate the “bi-polar” condition, ignore it. It’s a symptom; an effect, not a cause. The cause is her need to express her true self and to live authentically, free from the constraints of the past. Help her do that. Since she is on so much medication, be sure to have her work closely with her doctor to wean off of it when she finds she doesn’t need it anymore. If the doctor she has now refuses to help her get off the meds (and, unfortunately, some do) suggest that she find another doctor who will help her move toward true health and happiness.